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RICHMONDERS OF RICHMOND VIRGINIA

THE LAST TIME I DECLARED MY AWESOMENESS TO YOU, YOU ALL AGREED AND GAVE ME CONGRATULATORY CONGRATULATIONS FOR BEING THAT WAY. BUT EL MATEMATICO CLAIMED THAT I DID NOT FIGHT HIM IN THAT LAST BATTLE, BUT INSTEAD FOUGHT AN IMPOSTOR. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUE BECAUSE I WILL FIGHT ANYBODY ANYWHERE ANYTHING ANYTIME ANYPLACE ANYHOW ANYPLANET ANYLANDMINE ANYUZI.

STILL, HE INSIST THAT I DID NOT BEAT HIM INTO A BEATEN ONE, SO HE DECIDE TO CHALLENGE ME TO A FIGHT. HE SAID THINGS ABOUT HOW HE WOULD HURT ME WITH HIS "JUSTICE" IN A BATTLE FOR HIS HONOR OF RICHMOND HERONESS. I LAUGH AND GLADLY ACCEPT TO FIGHT HIM AGAIN BECAUSE I ALREADY BEAT HIM BEFORE AND HE STAINED HIS PANTS YELLOW BEFORE FIGHT. THAT MADE ME LAUGH MANY DAYS.

SO TODAY I HEAD OUT MY AWESOME DOOR TO GO MEET EL MATEMATICO IN THE RICHMOND PARK TO DO BATTLE AND I FIND A LETTER ON MY DOORSTEP WHICH IS EQUALLY AWESOME AS MY DOOR ITSELF.

LOOK WHAT IT WAS:









I NOT SURPRISED BY HIS LETTER BECAUSE HE WAS HURT SO BADLY LAST TIME. WHERE IS YOUR HONOR AND YOUR GLORY AND YOUR GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH NOW EL MATEMATICO? I HAVE THEM ALL AND THEY ARE MINE TO HAVE UNTIL I DO NOT WANT THEM AND FEED THEM TO THE IGUANA. I ALSO HAVE MUCH BETTER STATIONARY. WITH GLITTER!

RICHMONDERS OF RICHMOND, YOUR HERO HAS ABANDONED YOU AND LEFT YOU TO CRY IN THE SHALLOW END OF YOUR KIDDIE POOLS WHICH I USE FOR #2 WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUND.

EL SERPENTO'S CRIME WAVE OF CRIMINAL CRIME ACTS IS THE BEST!

AND NOW EL SERPENTO HAS WEB SITE! YOU WILL GO THERE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BE ME. BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE OF BAD DIET! HA HA HA!

Comments

( 45 comments — Leave a comment )
ptocheia
Aug. 3rd, 2005 02:54 pm (UTC)
Pleeease use lj-cut!

And maybe El Matematico just wants a vacation, it is that time of year you know.
loco_destructo
Aug. 3rd, 2005 05:09 pm (UTC)
EVIL VILLAINS OF RICHMOND VIRGINIA USA DO NOT MAKE USE LIVEJOURNAL CUT!
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
I WILL LJ-CUT YOUR FACE INTO A THOUSAND GOBSTOPPERS AND THEN CRUSH THEM BENEATH MY WEBBED FEET!
ptocheia
Aug. 5th, 2005 05:29 am (UTC)
I think you and El Matematico need to get together and make hot sweaty lucha porn!
die_kluge
Aug. 3rd, 2005 03:05 pm (UTC)
I for one welcome our new Mexican wrestling overlords!
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE VERY SMART. YOU MUST HAVE DEGREE IN SMARTNESS.
loco_destructo
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:38 am (UTC)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO KLUGE IS, BUT HE WILL DIE INDEED UNDER THE MIGHTY FIST WINDMILL OF EL SERPENTO AND LOCO DESTRUCTO, MAKING YOUR WISHES COME TRUE SINCE JULY 2005! THIS IS MY PROMISES TO YOU, CITIZEN OF CRIME CITY USA!
yummychummy
Aug. 3rd, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
i side with matematico.
macoto
Aug. 3rd, 2005 04:02 pm (UTC)
serpento looks wimpy but his mask is a lot cooler!!
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:06 pm (UTC)
HA HA HA. YOU SIDE WITH A COWARD WHO PICKS DAISIES IN THE MEADOWS OF COWARDTOWN
macoto
Aug. 3rd, 2005 04:01 pm (UTC)
do you have a blue screen or are you really good at masking with the lasso
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:08 pm (UTC)
LASSO? I AM NOT COWBOY BUT YES, I CAN LASSO A FISH FROM THE SEA FOR DINNER. MOST PEOPLE USE HOOKS AND BAIT, BUT I SING TO THEM AND THEN CATCH THEM IN MY ROPE. I CATCH SEAWEED TOO. THE JELLYFISH ARE CHEWY GOOD TOO
acheerangel444
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:34 pm (UTC)
i've always wanted to eat a jellyfish
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:44 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE A PEOPLE THAT CAN NOT EVEN LOOK AT A JELLYFISH WITHOUT GETTING THE STING OF JELLY IN YOUR EYES. ONLY THE GREATEST SWIMMER AND HOLDER OF BREATH IN THE WORLD, EL SERPENTO, CAN ENJOY THE TASTY DELICACY OF JELLYFISH FLAVOR FOODS.

GO BACK TO EATING YOUR WHEAT GERM.
acheerangel444
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:54 pm (UTC)
jeeze. i was just trying to be nice. but there you go trying to act like you're too cool for school. well guess what? YOU AREN'T.
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
HA HA HA! DO NOT BE ANGRY BECAUSE I MADE YOU PREGNANT IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT. I WILL RETURN FOR MY SMALL CRIMEDOERS WHEN THEY BURST FROM YOUR BELLY AND YOUR FACE.
ex_cataract742
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:08 am (UTC)
best reply ever

I SALUTE YOU, SIR
acheerangel444
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:19 am (UTC)
shit... you ain't rumplestilskin.

acheerangel444
Aug. 3rd, 2005 04:26 pm (UTC)
haha this is amazing
elektricmayhem
Aug. 3rd, 2005 05:51 pm (UTC)
ha, i expect once school starts up next month, our lucha fighters will have a lot less free time on their hands :)
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:10 pm (UTC)
SCHOOL IS FOR PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER WIN IN BATTLE. WHILE YOU ARE OFF AT LEARNING BUILDING CENTERS, I WILL BE CRIMINALING ALL OF RICHMOND. THEN WHEN YOU GET BACK YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. YOUR HOME WILL BE LIKE INSIDE OF A VOLCANO, BUT NOT AS HOT AND WITH MORE CRIME.
loco_destructo
Aug. 3rd, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC)
TRULY THIS IS BE SURPRISE TO NOBODY AT ALL. I PREDICTED THAT EL MATEMATICO WOULD WUSS OUT OF FINAL BOSS BATTLE WITH US AND RUN FOR THE HILLS LIKE SCARED CHIHUAHUA.
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
NO. CHIHUAHUA ARE BRAVERS THAN HIM! HE MORE LIKE SQUISHY CABBAGE
hyperviperbeam
Aug. 3rd, 2005 05:53 pm (UTC)
i am on the edge of my seat here
el_matematico
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:18 pm (UTC)
A BIG FIGHT LOOMING.

WHEN SCHOOL BEGINS, "TOTAL LUCHA CHAOS."

RICHMOND, VA, USA is to be protect by me. I did not write this letter (though it IS on official El Matematico Fan Club stationary.) I will defeat "el serpento" and his evil friends with power of a hundred tough calculus equations. What is quotient of EL MATEMATICO RICHMOND VA USA over EL SERPENTO LOCO DESTRUCTO EVIL LUCHISTES? I am glad you ask, it is "JUSTICE AND GLORY."

I will never stand for all of this "trouble make."
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:15 pm (UTC)
BIG FIGHT LOOMING? YOU CAN GO HIDE IN YOUR LOOM AND WEAVE A BLANKET TO HIDE UNDERNEATH BUT I WILL STILL COME FIND YOU AND GIVE YOU THE CRIMES ON YOUR FACE. YOU SEND ME THIS LETTER TO DELAY FIGHT, BUT YOU WILL SOON BE THE GRAVEYARD LIVING IN. CALCULATE THAT ON YOUR TI-81 CALCULATOR THAT REQUIRES BATTERIES BECAUSE IT DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH TO POWER ITSELF LIKE I DO!
loco_destructo
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:34 am (UTC)
YOU WILL NEVER STAND AGAIN AFTER THE CURB STOMPING ACTION MAKES VISIT ON YOUR LEGS AND BREAKS THEM LIKE STRONG BAT WITH WIFFLES.

EVEN THE MIGHTY Y = MX + B CANNOT SAVE YOU NOW!
i_broke_it_
Aug. 3rd, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I'm rooting for el serpento; even though he's evil, he looks cooler. and looks are all that matter in the lucha leader of Richmond.
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
YOU ARE ROOTING FOR THE RIGHT CRIMES. YOUR ROOTS ARE STRONG. BUT I STILL MAY EAT THEM IF I MISTAKE THEM FOR KELP. THAT THE RISK YOU TAKE WHEN LIVING IN RICHMONDERS RICHMOND NEAR EVIL CRIMINAL CRIMES.
elektricmayhem
Aug. 3rd, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
am i the only one that thinks that el_serpento is just trying a little to hard to be like Serpentor, but not *as* cool, tough or meaty?



;)
hello_jaime
Aug. 3rd, 2005 07:36 pm (UTC)
that is awesome!!!
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:18 pm (UTC)
I SEE THIS MAN WHO STEAL MY NAME ON TV LONG AGO. HE NOT EVEN STRONG. HE MADE FROM ELEMENTS BY MIND BENDING DOCTOR. I AM STRONG BECAUSE I LEARN TO DEVELOP CHEST MUSCLES IN UNDERWATER BREATH HOLDING CONTESTS. 45 SECONDS OF POWER HELD IN! PLUS HE ONLY KNOW HOW TO SAY "THIS I COMMAND" AND I NO SAY THAT BECAUSE I FIGHT MY OWN FIGHTS. HE NEEDS STUPID SNAKES TO HELP HIM FIGHT WIMPY LIKE DUKE HA HA HA!
elektricmayhem
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:26 pm (UTC)
oh, i'm sorry... where exactly are these chest muscles?



;)
el_serpento
Aug. 3rd, 2005 08:38 pm (UTC)
I KEEP MIGHTY CHEST MUSCLES HIDDEN UNDER KELP SHIELD SO NO ENEMIES CAN STAB AT THEM WHEN I NOT LOOKING. EVERYBODY WANTS TO TAKE MY CHEST MUSCLES AND MAKE THEM THEIR OWN.

YOU MAY SOON FEEL THE WRATH OF THE BOUYANT CHEST WHEN I SEE YOU IN RICHMOND STREETS. YOUR WINKING EMOTICON OF WINKY WEAKNESS WILL NOT HELP YOU IN REAL WORLD OF MY CRIMES.
loco_destructo
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:31 am (UTC)
HA HA YOU MUST BE CONFUSED, ELECTRONIC MAYBE HAMS. FOR YOU SEE THAT IS HIS BACK YOU ARE APPEARING AT IN THE PICTURE. HIS CHEST IS ON THE OTHER SIDE, BEHIND THE MONITOR.

;(
elektricmayhem
Aug. 4th, 2005 04:52 am (UTC)
"maybe hams" is the best you could come up with? seriously... ;)

and the point i was making was that all around, serpentor doesn't seem to have the bulk necessary to take on el matematico!
loco_destructo
Aug. 4th, 2005 05:24 am (UTC)
THAT'S BECAUSE SERPENTOR WAS THE HERALD OF ALL THINGS BAD IN G.I.JOE, LIKE COBRA-LA!

BUT WE ARE TALKING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT EL SERPENTO, NOT SERPENTOR. IT IS TIME TO GO BACK TO SCHOOLINGS FOR LEARNING TO READ THE BOOKS AND UNDERSTAND WORDS THAT ARE TYPED TO YOUR EYE ON THE INTERNETS. @>|:{o
tvsgrady
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:13 am (UTC)
!!!AY AY AY!!! !!!LUCHADORES!!!
el_serpento
Aug. 4th, 2005 02:59 am (UTC)
YES AND HOW MANY LUCADORES HAVE THEIR OWN STORE? ONLY THE MIGHTY EL SERPENTO! GO BUY A THONG WITH MY FACE ON IT AND MAKE LOVE LIKE THE HERMIT CRABS!
die_kluge
Aug. 4th, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)
This just warms my heart. I might have to get one of those El Serpento infant creeper's for my newborn.
el_serpento
Aug. 4th, 2005 03:15 pm (UTC)
YES. BUY EL SERPENTO GEAR FOR YOUR CREEPY INFANT NEWBORN. THIS IS THE GOOD THING TO DO. MAKE SURE HE EATS KELP FLAVORED GERBER FOODS SO HE GROWS STRONG! HE WILL STILL NOT BEAT ME WHEN HE IS OLDER BECAUSE I HAVE STRENGTH OF THE SEA!
khyron
Aug. 4th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
  
el_serpento
Aug. 4th, 2005 08:39 pm (UTC)
YOUR GAME IS BROKEN. I PUSH START BUTTON ON SCREEN AND NOTHING HAPPEN. PROBABLY BECAUSE IT SCARED OF MY MUSCLE FLEX AND ANGRY GILLS.

I QUESTION WHAT KIND OF FIGHTING CRIMESMAN WOULD WANT A LAST BATTLE? I WANT TO BATTLES EVERY ONE OF THE DAYS. PEOPLE IN THE RETIREMENT HOMES ARE THE ONES WHO HAD LAST BATTLES BECAUSE THEY GOT TIRED AND NEEDED TO HAVE A NURSE CLEAN THEIR SCARED PANTS. I WILL FIGHT FOREVER AND NEVER DIE BECAUSE I HAVE THE SEASALTS IN MY VEINS WHICH FIGHT THE CANCERS OF LAST BATTLES IN WEAK MANS!
dany_teh_hobo
Aug. 6th, 2005 10:52 pm (UTC)
Hey, I've got some news for ya; I can hold my breath for 58 seconds. Try to beat that, El snake-o. >:-D ph34r me, because I am your new enemy! < Please insert evil laughter here > My hobo powers can destroy you ANYTIME, even on Sunday.
dany_teh_hobo
Aug. 29th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
You are a chicken!
I posted my menacing menace of menace and you didn't even replied to it. IT MEANS YOU ARE SCARED OF HOBOS, EVERYTIME A BUM APPROACH YOU ASKING FOR CHANGE YOU BARF BLOOD OF SCARE, UH? AND BY THE WAY, WHEN YOU PRESS CAPS on your text becames suddenly smarter. Magic!Muhahahahahahalolololol
( 45 comments — Leave a comment )

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rva
Richmond, Virginia

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